2026-07-18
Hey, if you’ve got nothing else to do for ten minutes or so, why not subject yourself to Madge “Boomin’ Granny” Ciccone’s infomercial for her long-player, Confessions II — and her most recent round of plastic surgery and resultant new face. Visually, it’s a baffling mess — obviously expensive and profoundly stupid. Musically, it’s the same funk-free, denatured, unsyncopated, four-on-the-floor disco substitute approved for rhythmically-reduced diets Madge has been extruding for four-and-a-half decades. Why, it’s all new and a relic from a bygone age. (*May contain Benedict Cumberbatch, Botox, injectable fillers, synthetic hip replacement, groin lasers, Steadicam®™ strippergram SWAT squad, Debi Mazar, Richard E. Grant, Sabrina Carpenter, arthritic non-dancing.) Take a well-deserved rest, Madge. You’ve provided enough unintentional hilarity for one century.